Finding Love, Happiness And Inner Peace

So often, when things go wrong in our lives, when taxes are too high, when food becomes scarce, when adversity, hardship or distress overwhelms us, we seek to blame our situation, our desperate circumstances, our pain on others. We blame it on the government, we blame it on the people around us, our parents, our children, our spouses and on those we view as having control over us, our lives, and our choices. We become angry and resentful. All we can think about is: If they weren’t such terrible people; If they had done a better job; If they hadn’t had it in for me; If they weren’t this religion or that race, everything would be different. Unfortunately, the more we blame others, the more power we ascribe to others, the more helpless we feel and the angrier we get.

So, what is the truth? Is the condition of our world, the condition of our society, the condition of our lives, our happiness, our sense of worth and well being based upon what others do? Is it based upon the actions and choices of our world leaders, our politicians, our bosses, our co-workers, our teachers, our fellow students, our family members and estranged friends? If you believe it is, then you are indeed helpless, hopeless, powerless and doomed to continuing misery. Just remember that what you believe is your choice and you can choose differently.

Really? How will changing what I believe make a difference in the way things are? No matter what I believe, those who have power over my life will still have power over my life. No matter what I choose to believe, I still won’t have the money to pay my bills. No matter what I believe my family, my teachers, or my boss and co-workers won’t treat me any better and won’t care how I feel. How can you say that changing what I choose to believe will make any difference in my life?

One of the greatest misconceptions in our society is that people, places and things can bring us happiness. We are constantly being barraged by the media, on TV, in the movies, in advertisements, that possessions, relationships, that living in the right place, and having more than enough money will provide happiness. If this were true, then most of the people who are in relationships, most of the people who have amassed a lot of possessions, most of the people who live in idyllic places, and most of the people who have a lot of money would be happy. Nevertheless, just looking around and paying attention to the lives of those who have all these things or live in the most idyllic places will attest to the fact that this just isn’t true. The physical world cannot provide happiness, only opportunities through which to learn to develop it.

So where does happiness, self esteem and inner peace come from? Some say that it comes from within ourselves, and that’s true, but there is more to it than that. It’s not just deciding to be happy, or self empowered or to find inner peace. It requires a complete shift in the way we think. It requires taking personal responsibility for all of our thoughts, feelings and actions. Never again can we blame people, places and things for the conditions in our life, for it is not these things that make life good or bad, but rather how we choose to experience and react to them. It is not what people say to us, or how they treat us that can hurt us, but rather what we choose to believe about ourselves and how we choose to experience the words and actions of others. It is not the price of gas or the lack of money that makes us miserable, but rather how we chose to react to and deal with those challenges.

It is also important to remember that we cannot change the way another believe or choose to act, we can only change these things in ourselves. Becoming angry or resentful about the what another person chooses to believe or how they choose to behave serves no purpose other than to poison our own lives, disturbing our peace, sapping our inner strength and shattering our happiness. Being resentful towards someone else is like taking poison and hoping for the offending person to die from it. Coming to the awareness that we are all unique and special human beings, divine creations of the Source Of All Being, created by Love to love, will do more to insulate us from the spiteful and reckless behaviors of others than all the anger and resentment we can muster.

Finding happiness, inner strength and inner peace begins by coming to believe that we were all created to be happy, strong and filled with peace. It doesn’t matter what others believe, it matters what you believe. It doesn’t matter how others act but rather how you choose to respond to the words and actions of others. If you can come to realize that no amount of retaliation against another for their words or actions is going to bring you true and lasting happiness, you will feel more comfortable with allowing others to do what they do and be more willing to live as an example of how and where happiness is truly found.

Forgiveness is not what you do for someone else, although that someone else might think so, forgiveness is what you do for yourself. It is not condoning an action but rather placing that action where it belongs, in the past, and being willing to express acceptance and love for the purpose of opening the door to change, for yourself, as well as for the other person. Forgiveness doesn’t demand change, it encourages and allows change.

Still, that other person may not be willing to change. They may continue to act in unloving and destructive ways. Nevertheless you have a choice as to how to respond. For some, continuing to express love and acceptance while living as an example of one who has found their inner strength, peace and happiness is a viable choice. For others, holding to love and acceptance while distancing themselves from the offending individual is a more appropriate choice. The important thing here is never loosing site of the truth: that you were created by Love, to love, even in the most difficult situations. And no, it’s not that easy. It takes years of practice, prayer and meditation to change your thinking, your beliefs and your life. On the other hand, if your life is fraught with frustration, anger and resentment, where will you be in a few years if you don’t give this a try?

The fact is, how you believe, how you think, determines how you experience life. Experience is the operative word here. The ways of the world may never change, but how you experience them can. There may be earthquakes and floods, famine and war, but you can still experience happiness and inner peace if you change your perspective, your beliefs and the way that you think. Happiness and peace don’t come from what happens in the world, happiness and peace happen within you, because of who you’ve become, within your heart, your mind and your soul. Seek love, happiness and peace within every circumstance of your life and you will surely find it.

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